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Monday, May 24, 2010

How not to be a running snob

Do you look at a runner as you pass, noting that they're wearing plain sneakers and not running shoes?
Do you wear brand coordinated running clothes, even to the grocery store?
Do you time everything, from walking around the mall to walking to the copy machine and record your pr's?
When someone asks if you jog, do you sneer and say, "I'm a runner, not a jogger?"
Do you know any of these names Scott Jurek, Steve Prefontaine, Grete Waitz, Dean Karnazes, Evelyn Ashford, Dinesh Dineba, Kip Keino,  Paul Tergat?
Do you know the difference between supinate and pronate?
Do you yell at people on the track when you pass, "on your left!" and then get mad if they don't immediately move over?
Do you wear your finishers medal from some race for the next week, to the store, to work?
Do you know who John L. Parker is and are you a member of the Once a Runner Cult?

If you answered yes to at least three of the above questions, then you are a running snob!

The first step in avoiding becoming one of the most tedious people on earth, besides those people who recite their golf scores to me every Monday morning, is to only talk about running with other runners. Do bowlers bore the crap out of poker players with how close they came to bowling a 300 game? No! They don't. Stick to your own kind, people who actually know what shin splints are and show some sympathy that you have them.

The second step in avoiding running snobdom, is to never wear the tee shirts from your races to non-running events. Not the mall, not the movies and definitely not to work on "casual" Friday. Also, I know how much you love your Nike Techno Running shoes, just leave them at home for weddings and funerals, okay? Unless of course, its for a funeral of a runner, in which case, you can skip the hearse and you and your five other running friends can carry the casket to the cemetary and see if you can get a PR. *

*If you know that "PR" refers to "personal record" then you are a running snob/geek.

Finally, if the only magazines or books you read are related to running, then you need to put down your Runner's World coffee cup on your Running Times coaster and go out and eat some pizza, drink some beer no, make that a lot of beer or some scotch and watch a non-inspirational movie, try Woodie Allen.

Now if you'll excuse me, I'm off to the frame shop to get my finishing certificate for the New York Marathon framed for the office.

1 comment:

Mama On The Run said...

I am one to say "I don't jog, I run."

Other than that I'm not a snob. You are just something in your blogs! Must be from clearing your mind on your long runs.

My ultimate goal before I die: run a Boston Marathon.